Recently, I’ve been brainstorming ways to tell the world about my relationship with Jesus and share the good news of his Salvation.

When sharing my passion (i.e., long, drawn out, miracle, Jesus stories) I usually feel like a goofball who has absolutely zero theological backing to “prove” my faith.  It’s as if I am saying all the wrong things to the cashier behind the counter at Publix or to the gal giving me a new hair style. So, I withdraw the righteous-path-proposal, and do my best to make a new friend, or at least leave a joy-filled impression or word of encouragement in someone’s world.

I found myself totally frustrated by these “small efforts” that seem to be getting no where in the hearts of my new found friends and cashier clerks.  After wracking my brain and heart for scriptures I should have shared or specific words I should have said, I finally asked the One with all the answers to tell me

“OK, W.W.J.D.?

How in the world, do I actually “win” these souls into your kingdom?”

And that’s when he softly showed me, like a movie picture in my mind, a Master Gardner placing a tiny seed in the ground….who has to patiently wait through an entire season before he can Harvest.

I fearfully questioned, as if doomsday were accurately scheduled in my planner,

“But Lord, we don’t have TIME to wait!!

Are you telling me my seeds are enough, and that now, I just have to wait?”

I pondered that Gardner standing in his field, with his tiny, morsel of a seed in his hand – a precious crop to someday become food on his table. His soul survival is now getting tossed in the ground, covered with dirt, and processed with time. Lots and Lots of time. This concept makes no sense to the urgency in my soul winning heart.  I want the Harvest now.  I want to make sure – very sure, that they are on the right path.

So I proved my lack of trust, and continued questioning the God of All Creation…

“Ok God, but…

What if the Gardner knows a storm is coming and doesn’t want to loose his crop?

How does he protect his seed?

How does he guarantee that his seed will someday be harvested and not blown away?

What if something happens to the Gardner, and he’s not there at the right time to prune, to cultive or to harvest?”

{Bottom line} – God,What if this person I love so much never accepts Christ, and goes to hell?”

He reminded me again that the Gardner never stops to worry about an impending storm. He sows today, he waters today, he prepares today for what he “believes” he will reap tomorrow. He never waits or worrys about the what if’s, he just plants, and sows and waters.

Because if he stops planting, he will surely stop reaping.

Yes, he has to weather the storm, wait out the rain and the winds and trust the seedlings strengh to survive. And also has to trust the Lord of the Harvest to care for what he cannot.

He also will have to wait until the exact moment, checking and testing, until the fruit is completely ripe before he begins picking.

I imagined a Gardner picking all of his fruit before it was ripe, ruining the harvest, and the same Gardner waiting so long and watching it all fall to the ground, only to have the birds carry it away. It’s a delicate process, one that takes time, patience and knowledge.

In 1 Cor 5, Paul talks about our work in the kingdom. We all have equal share in the work, as long as we each do our part to contribute to that greater work. And it doesn’t matter which part we work, we all share in the reward!

Winning souls is like gardening.
Some sow.
Some water.
…but God brings the increase.

He brings in the harvest!

I can trust Him with that.

Last Tuesday night I had the awesome priveledge of attending a Hillsong Worship Workshop lead by Darlene Zschech, at Church of the Highlands in Birmingham.

surreal.
Thanks to business teachers in High School who taught about the power of goal setting, I became an avid life list maker. One dream has included “someday going to Hillsong to study worship, and meet Darlene Zschech.” Needless to say, It was a gigantic heart fulfilling moment last Tuesday when I went to my seat, and watched this anointed worshiper lead us into the presence of the Lord. I tweeted, “I cant believe where I’m standing at this moment.” I literally could not believe it.

simplistic.
When “Darlene” and her team were introduced, they entered the stage and began to lead us in worship. She opened her black bible, and read a scripture. She looked up to the heavens and declared the Glory of God, she prayed a brief prayer, and spoke to the intention of the evening. She did not elaborate her message or the word, or her prayer. She just read, prayed and then begin to sing.

very strange.
I’m never lost. In fact, in every musical, vocal or theater venue I attend, I am the epitome of “un-lost.” I often have to force myself out of the Paula Abdul chair, over correcting the harmonies, and notating musical flaws. Yes, I’m that one. I find it very difficult to sit in an audience and simply worship – without the distractions of my musical and vocal perfectionism taking over. I find it difficult to press in and just find Jesus and focus on Him. As the sound amplifying from the lead singers mic has entirely too much “high” in the mix, or a guitar amp that has a mosquito buzz so killer it sounds like something straight out of an African safari. I just want to run up on stage or behind the sound booth and fix everything. When the singers sing about the Joy of the Lord, and look like death warmed over, I analyze and over correct. It’s a nasty nemesis, this flesh I fight. But I know I’m not alone. And fighting through the distractions makes those moments of finding him through the crowd that much sweeter when he gently reminds me that the mosquito buzz I hear is His Joyful noise, and it pleases his heart…so I find the place in my heart for it to please me too. And then I cry.

But I have to say, that Tuesday night was very strange. When the worship experience ended, I felt full, complete and content – like I had actually been taken into an unusually real, manifested presence of the Lord. I wasn’t standing there disappointed that the music was ending, with my score sheet in hand, or standing there with my legs killing me from standing up so long, now so happy to be able to sit down. No, I felt like I had just eaten this delicious meal, and I was perfectly content. I knew I wanted to come back sometime soon, but for tonight, I was full. It was strange to sit down, and think, I’ve never felt this before. I’ve never heard this type of unity in any band or singers before. The band ebbed and flowed together like perfect waves crashing on the shore. I never even realized there was a keyboard player (no offense, keyboard dude), until I heard the band intrinsically and melodically step back and lift him up on their shoulders, as he did for them moments later. I opened my eyes, surprised to see, “Oh wow. there’s a keyboard player up there.” Yes. I was that lost.

…and sovereign.

During the opening of worship, after a few moments, minutes, maybe seconds, I can’t recall, something happened. I went from star-struck, “I can’t believe I’m here” to totally enveloped by the presence of God, “I would not want to be be anywhere else right now.” In fact, about two songs later, I realized that I had completely forgotten that “Darlene Zschech” was actually in the room, that Hillsong musicians and singers from Australia were actually leading us in that moment. I felt connected and engaged in an atmosphere of the most authentic, raw, humble and pure praise and worship experience I have ever encountered. It was like I was translated back to my little secret place, singing out to God in my bedroom or in my kitchen. I was lost. Wrecked, like never before.

How does someone genuinely take every single ounce of recognition, fame, glory and even honor and transfer it all completely over to the Glory and Honor of Jesus? Nothing remained of “Darlene” or “Hillsong” in that state of worship. Nothing but Jesus. Four familiar songs – I can’t even list by name – 15 maybe 20 minutes of worship, no more no less. When the last note of the last song was played, it was perfect bliss. I was left ready for the word.

Darlene lead a worship workshop with her singers and musicians. The notes I took do not compare to the vast wisdom and exponential knowledge that I received from her session. I could speak and write volumes regarding only one of the points she mentioned. They were all so meaty and heavy. She shared about the Presence of the Lord. “The Presence of God fuels our worship.” As worship leaders prayer and the word are vital. Prayer and Worship together are what gets God’s attention. If the reading of the word is absent in our life, we are in a dangerous place. “You have to feed on the word!” She also quoted scripture after scripture, regarding the Presence. It’s indwelling. it’s manifested. It’s everything.

I left challenged to memorize and study the scriptures more.

The greatest note on worship that I took away from the night, was not from Darlene, but from her BGV, “Dee” who responded to a question on humility. “How to you stay so humble in the face of such great success and fame.” – Dee said, “You have to be really great, no you have to be #1 at being #2.” Because no matter what part you play in the team, the choir, the vocals, the musicians, the leader, you are all #2, and HE, Jesus is #1.

— Humility in worship, is now officially the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.