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in the storm

October 30, 2010

Wednesday night the rains came in. Lots of rain. Black clouds over head. I was driving through the middle of it. Zero visibility around 6 o’clock, the roads super slushy, cars driving home from work, out to church, all moving at a snails pace. I cant even see the lines on the road, weaving into both lanes. Right-brain chides left-brain, “This is Idiot Weather. Idiot.” Why am I continuing on this journey, driven to my destination. What was I thinking with all that ambition, that I could actually do this? I realized I was fighting through the biggest storm of the season, darkly daunting just above my head. I keep going.

Because the car in front of me keeps going. Their tail lights my guide. Even when I felt that urge to merge off to the side, I kept going. My rear view mirror reflecting the cars behind me. They were depending on my lights to guide them through this storm too. That kept me going.

Maybe we think we can’t make it through the storm. After all, this could very well be the scariest storm of our life. Its dangerous and seemingly has the power to destroy us. The black that looms on through the night. We have every reason to stop, cower down and take a moment to cover our heads. Everything in us screams self preservation. But what if our tail lights are the only thing keeping someone else safely on the road behind us?

Later, I notice how that most powerful storm on the out side created the sweetest atmosphere on the inside, and cozied in the most peaceful night’s rest.  {Keith and I have one of those soothing-sounds alarm clocks, and our go to sleep sound is always the Thundering Rain Forest, ahh its so delightful.}

How is it that the sound of a billowing storm can sooth ones soul?

We were created with a propensity for resting in the storms. After all, our Maker’s Son did that while at the bottom of a boat in the middle of a stormy sea.  To his disciples amazement, he slept right through the storm!  And when questioned about His unfathomable peace, he simply went out and proved that a few dark clouds are nothing that His power can’t conquer.

A C. H. Spurgeon thought on storms…

“This depression comes over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry; the cloud is black before it breaks, and overshadows before it yields its deluge of mercy. Depression has now become to me as a prophet in rough clothing, a John the Baptist, heralding the nearer coming of my Lord’s richer benison.”

Today:

~ Hold on to His Power.

~~ Rest in it… Rest in the Storm.

~~~Take note of fellow pilgramers looking to you to guide them through the storm.

~~~~Take note of what this storm may be “heralding” in your life of what the Lord has in store.

I don’t always post music, country music at that! But this one was my song for this moment. “Stand”

“Cause when push comes to shove, You taste what you’re made of, You might bend till you break, Cause? it’s all you can take, On your knees, you look up, Decide you’ve had enough, You get mad, you get strong, Wipe your hands, shake it off, Then you stand…. Everytime you get up, And get back in the race, One more small piece of you, Starts to fall into place.”

Bless the hands…

July 16, 2010

A few months ago I invited my grandmother over to eat dinner with us in our tiny love-shack-of-a-kitchen.  Not just the quick and easy kind of dinner either.  It was the full home cooked spread.

Given my previous lack of skills in the kitchen, this moment was truly an amazing feat for me.  I have kitchen stories from the early days of our marriage that we won’t even speak of…there are jello disasters and dish rags full of tears from the trials and “terrors” of my efforts with Mr. Uncle Ben…moments that had prevented me from even opening the cabinets, forcing me to accept my fate as a future drive-thru mom.

However, I am blessed with a heritage of heroic Godly women, and also of great southern cooks.  Dinner is traditionally more than just a meal, it’s a moment.  My mom and grandmother, and their mothers, made sure of that.  We eat at the prepared table, and we eat together, when it’s just ready.  There’s a call to wash up, then the call to “gather round.”

After the rounding, we “gather” hands and pray.  Each one has their own favorite words, “Dear Lord,”  ”Dear Heavenly Father,” “Thank you Jesus.”   But there is one that phrase resounds at the end of every prayer.  You can almost feel it coming, the breathing pause, and then these precious words, “…and bless the hands that prepared it.”

I’ve never really given a second thought to why we prayed this.   Gathering over our meal that night, I hear my grandmother praying the family blessing over my hands.  That moment awakened me to the secret of how, and why my favorite women have been so richly gifted with great cooking hands.  It’s not the special cast iron skillet, its not from her special spoon or pan, or even the particular brand names she favors, but rather from the many gathered hands simply asking God to “bless them.”

Now, the more I cook, the more I hear someone blessing me, helping me move a step further into this rich heritage.

“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”               — Mother Teresa.

The bible says, “In all things we are more than conquerers…” Rom 8:37

~What things do you need God to help you make great?

a wellspring

January 30, 2010

Life is a funny, funny thing, as Alanis said, >>like ten thousand spoons when all you need is knife… Aaahhhh, I can look back at seasons where I could barely catch my breath from all the “doing,” believing the mis-truth in my heart that surely I was doing ‘as unto the Lord’ because I was giving all of myself wholly to the world. A self-sacrificer, or maybe a selfish-sacrificer, nonetheless.

At the turn of my third decade on this earth, last summer, those “secret of life” questions began resounding in my heart. There must be more than to have given so much only be left empty, broken and hurting. I’ve learned the hard way, being busy will never fix those things.

In a conversation with my love, my millionaire man (well, maybe not yet, but I see that much worth in him now), we were talking about this concept of life and purpose and our passions. How many people get to truly do what they love everyday…very few. They say they love it, but that’s because they have to. Truly, truly waking up, jumping up each day exhilarated beyond measure to pursue the day, would, to me, mean living life to the fullest. What would living out our passions truly look like? What would the world begin to look like? Could we change our world, if everyone pursued their soul-purpose?

The windows of my heart seem so buried under the layers of life, that three decades into it, I find it difficult sometimes recall that “original recipe” of what I was created to be. You remember how the “New Coke” was so messed up – nobody wanted it? We all wanted Classic Coke back, that’s where its at people! Sometimes I think we just have to take time to humble ourselves, and say, Ok, so I tried, this and I tried that and it did not work. So now I’m going back to the place where I originally started, the road I was originally on, before I took that wrong turn, and I’m starting there. Going to a place way back in the recesses of my mind and heart to rekindle my “original passion.” This week, I’ve been stirred by a noble theme, as the psalmist David says, as I recite my verses before my king.

Colossians 3:17 “whatever you do in word or deed” was heavy on my mind the past few days. I’m relating it to my new passion theory: “that my doing unto the Lord should only be done through a heart of original intent, full of passion, spilling over with words, and deeds.” Our passions, from Christ will somehow always revolve around Colossians 3. I believe that anyone’s true passion can be found by meditating on this chapter.

He starts by telling us to get rid of the junk! Our psalmist also says, “guard your heart, for it is the heart is the wellspring of life.” It’s clear, the heart is like a wellspring, when that spring gets clogged up, nothing will work right. The issues of life, and our sins can prevent us from functioning/flowing with our true life passion. Throw out the sin issues, that’s step one. (which, btw, is super easy. just ask Jesus. yup, that’s it.)

Then he tells us, now that we are holy (um, just cleaned up through prayer), we can have super fun, adding some decorations to the place, and getting some new clothes, like compassion, and kindness, humility, gentleness and patience – oh those are so much fun!! And they look good too.

It’s all about spiritual maturity (as my millionaire man preaches to me daily.) Growing up in Christ means changing out our old with our new. yes, it’s scary and may be difficult (letting go of the past hang ups or addictions). But living a life FREE from sin, and bondage truly is rewarding and unbelievably good.

From that point, our spring starts blossoming with trees and flowers, Lilly pads and birds. Ok, maybe I’m illlustrating too much of my own perfect stream here, but my point is – that’s when the Beauty starts to happen (something I preach to my millionaire man daily. lol) We become Beautiful creations in Christ. Peaceful, Thankful. And showing others the way to obtain their own beautiful wellstream.

So yes, Passion. Real Passion, starts with a pure heart. Join me in seeking God, for that “pure and holy passion – one magnificent obsession – one glorious ambition for my life – to know when to follow hard after you…”

As my friend Candi Pearson Shelton sings it (yes, well ok, so we were on choir tour a few summers together in high school). A song, from one on of the greatest worship albums ever, Passion’s One Day live:

thanks: super talented brother

Embracing the day!

January 29, 2010

People have asked me a lot lately, what do I do all day? With all that time on my hands? No job, no kids, and NO TV? wha-t?? As if those are the only two things a woman in “my condition” should be doing (a 30 year old gal, living in southern America.) I answer: “Weeeeell, (deep breath) my life is pretty full actually. Clipping coupons (yeah, right), cooking, cleaning, shopping and watching Grey’s Anatomy on Hulu, only when I have the time, of course (fake yawn)”

– Actually the first three are just first impression bits. When i say cooking, I actually mean stopping off at Subway on my way home from shopping, then “cooking” a batch of pull-apart Pillsbury cookie dough to eat while I watch every drama and reality TV Show Hulu has to offer. And by cleaning I mean, straightening the pillows on the couch and closing the door to the bedrooms. Yes, I live quite the busy life these days. But there is no resentment here when I peer beyond my back fence to the private schools across the main road buzzing with busy lives…well maybe I’m a teeny bit curious, but that’s the “future soccer mom wanna-be” in me.

You see, ‘busy’ has really never been a good friend to me in years past, so I’m choosing to embrace these unusual days, this slower season of life. They are after all, precious and rare. And I am certain for reason beyond my knowing, that it’s my “lot” to embrace my cup with pride, on behalf of all womankind. Ok, so I’ve watched a few too many red-carpet interview videos from E! online today.

I was reminded this morning in the quiet of the day the truth about truly living and “doing” as unto Christ. “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” I’ve mis-interepreted that word to mean that all my busy-mess must be done in the name of the Lord. But after reading this passage in entirety, including the preceeding scriptures I’m understanding today that all of our words and deeds, should be consumed in doing “the name of the Lord.” What can we “do” to represent the name of the Lord? Well, many things are mentioned here – u can journey that one on your own, but I’ll mention the first: clothe yourselves with compassion.

So what am I doing today you ask? I’m clothing myself with compassion. I’m worshiping in his Presence, and I’m waiting, quietly in his embrace as Rita sings my life song today:

The Toolbelt

January 8, 2010

Just as I was getting snug in bed, in the quiet of the night, the answers to all of the recent big GOD questions started coming in like a flood. I could have jumped up and stayed up all night filtering through this new revelation, but for the first time in many nights, the post-it-note-pen-and-bible-by-the-bed-routine pays off.

#1 What does it take to really fight the enemy?

#2 How can we truly be delivered / set free from our struggles that so easily beset us?

I have been personally experiencing the unexplainable roller coaster myself, this past winter. And, somehow recently the Lord led me to three conversations with young women just like myself who have struggled with the winter blues (I prefer to call it the mean reds) or the roller coaster ride of life struggles . The word says no weapon formed against will not prosper. Which tells us that even though they may come close or even snag us, they will not last, their mission will not succeed. Thank you Jesus for giving us success over our adversary.

Growing up the daughter of a Children’s Pastor, I am often reminded of simple little illustrations to help even my biggest adult dilemmas. This week, I’m reminded of one of dad’s many real-life characters, “Tom the Toolman” *arrgh, arrgh* – a spin off of Tim ‘The Toolman’ Taylor from Home Improvement. He was equipped with power drill, tool belt, safety glasses – and seemed to always get himself in trouble by making the adults choke with laughter…but that’s another story.

Question one and two, are found in the tool belt, the all powerful belt of truth. The Lord showed me that without this belt we are defenseless to the enemies lies. It’s a vital peice of our armor, and we can be destroyed, our well-being, our mental and emotional state, and even our life can be destroyed if this one tiny piece of armor is not in tact.

What’s in the spiritual tool belt that I wear everyday? My bible of course…I actually physically take it with me most places. Note cards & Sharpies to jot out moment altering scriptures. A book called, “God’s Creative Power” by Charles Capp (learning to declare the word of God) along with other Christian study books, online podcast messages and of course plenty of worship tunes — a YouTube or Itunes Worship Playlist (Jason Upton, Hillsong, Rita Springer, Christ for the Nations). Without these tools active in my life I become defenseless to the “lying arrows” that are coming my may.

God’s truth in our life is amazing. His perspective is the best one to possess, because it’s the only RIGHT, TRUE one. If things in your life are turned upside down, start activating the belt of truth tools and reclaim all the benefits they behold: true joy, true wealth, true love, real relationship, real peace, real life!

Summer Blueberries

June 19, 2009

We went blueberry picking early this morning.  It was my first official “blueberry pick” – which started out around 8 AM on a nearby farm.  Keith and I picked until our hearts content.  It was super warm and continued heating up the two hours we were out there.  It was such a peaceful and fresh morning.  There was such an abundant harvest of these berries that our 20 pounds of picking did not even make a dent in those berry bushes.  We could probably go back every morning for the next two week and still have more left.

God really revealed himself to us this early morning.  Keith kept having revelations about finances and the principles of sowing and reaping.  I kept thinking about  the God of the harvest – the Lord of the Breakthrough.  As I reached my hand up to the vine to grap a bunch, one or two would often slip to the ground before I could get my hand back to the bucket.  I kept hearing him whisper, “I am willing that none should perish.”  I kept thinking about the parallels of harvesting souls, capturing them before they fall to the ground.  Also when I came home they had to be washed, weeded of bugs and plucked of the stems that held them to the vine.  Then laid out to dry, and stored…quite the process.  But just like Christians, there are several processes we must go through post salvation – or lest we may fall.  Thank you Jesus for keeping me always in the palm of your hand and teaching me something new and beautiful today on the blueberry farm.