More on ‘it’ – a PERSPECTIVE in marriage and conflict.

Recently the Lord has been allowing my heart to connect, with several sweet gals who are just plain going through it. You know what “it” is, don’t you? We’ve all seen it, and felt it a time or two. It’s that season in life that you never thought you would face. Or you thank God you are not facing any longer. It’s the scary season when everything is beating you down and you just don’t know what to do and you wonder if life will ever bring you out of this season. Somehow this is my season to not encounter “it” personally, but vicariously, through several others.

The Lord has graced me with a counseling word through his Holy Spirit for this influx of marital attacks. The first and foremost being,

1. Conquer the negative thoughts.

…get rid of the NOT TRUE beliefs.

In his fruitless attempt to damage marriage, here are a few “not true” thoughts that the enemy will use first to launch an attack in our mind:

–“My husband does not love me because of this….” = NOT TRUE

–“I would be better off if I had married….” = NOT TRUE

–“Divorce would be better than staying married.” = NOT TRUE

What can we do to conquer those negative thoughts? Be strong.  Be bold. Don’t let the enemy work in your mind and tell you lies.  Take authority over your situation, by first recognizing the lies.  “I would be better off without him.” NOT TRUE!!!  It’s hard to imagine this right now in the midst of turmoil, but there will be a moment down the road when you will be so in love again, you will have your arms around each other and wonder why you ever considered ending this beautiful relationship. The truth is the moment you became one, the honeymoon moments in marriage, the fun vacations together, those are the truth moments in your relationship. We have to live in those moments, even when things are tough, and somedays it will take work and effort to create those moments again in your mind. But listening to lies, will only produce living in lies. Learn to think the truth, so you can live in the truth.

Once you determine that you are listening to lies, the next thing is simply:

2. Replace lies (or untruths) with truth.

How can we activate TRUE thoughts? Start with the truest Word in the world, the Bible. Apply a real scripture for your situation. It’s not difficult. You only need to start with one, like Philippians 4:8,
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

You have to remind yourself, I mean, physically tell your mind that all of these things are not heart issues, they are head issues. You have to push past the fog of confusion to get to the root of the problem. If the situation were truly a heart issue, you would know it. However,
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding.”

Finally,

3. Let God fight your battles, not your flesh.

So many times, women (especially this one) think the best solution is the one we have to say. Again, Not True. When we learn to pray first, instead of talking (or debating) first, the outcome is monumentally better. I heard a great lady once say, “Take your mouth off of it.” Meaning, don’t try to fix it verbally. Verbally responding quickly turns into anger, strife, envy, gossip…ultimately regret.

Also, personally, I can tell you that if you commit to “not giving up” – no matter what, never, ever, ever spending the night apart, or leaving mad or going to sleep mad – that your marriage will be stronger.  It’s like “putting your face to the wind” and saying, “Ok, come on storm – show me what you got!  I’m not letting go, I’m not giving in. Bring it on.” You have to stop believing that “quitting” is the easy way.  It’s NOT. Let me just speak clearly and the truth here. Facing your problems, IS the road less traveled, but it offers the sweeter victory.

I believe the promise with you today ladies that you will live in peace and rest, and that God will grace your marriage with His never ending, passionately powerful, agape love.

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more on “the Spirit of Perspective” ~ “the prayer Perspective” and “the Spirit of Pursuit“