It’s been a while.  A really, long, long while actually – since I’ve unfolded out of a cartwheel. Ten years ago or so in college I realized my days of cartwheeling were over, when I ended up flat on my back with a splitting headache.

But yesterday made me a twelve year old believer again.

In Cartwheels….

I’m in an all day meeting with my new job.  We’re listening to someone from the County Sheriff’s office tell us about the social issues kids are facing in school.  Bullying, cyber bullying, harassment, degragation, among a dirty laundry list of other negative issues.

It broke my heart, with a million pieces spilling out of the rims of my tear-filled eyes. Now, let me preface this with the fact that I spent – oh – about 10 hours Friday and Saturday, while on my Steroid shot thrill ride, doing some designs for a “bullying” specific presentation.  In our office, it’s been a topic that we’ve discussed at length, analyzed, and chewed on.  I’ve heard it all, or so I thought.

I don’t remember his name, but Mr. Law Enforcer Man shared with us a startling truth that made me sit up in my seat, lean my ear in, and place my thumb nail bitterly between my teeth.  I was all in.

If someone harasses you verbally, or in person slanders or defames you with their mouth, with their words or actions, you can “Call the Po-Po, Ho” cause they gone’ ta jail!

But catch this!  If someone harasses you with a text message, an email or a social media venue – there is nothing the Po-Po can do.  Nothing! NADA!  Zilch. Zippo. NixoN.

The reason given: because our local judicial system dismisses the act of electronic harassment, because you cannot prove the person on the harassing end was actually the owner of the device.  Oh, and further more, the cyber harassment law that was passed in Alabama last year, yeah, it’s not public yet, and it could take up to 10 years for the public to actually see it.

Really?  Yes.  Really.

These things I don’t understand just yet.  But I will.

The indecent act of cyber bullying itself did not actually raise me to my feet initially, but hearing that the act of cyberbullying has NO judicial consequence – absolutely raised me on my toes, put a megaphone in my hand, and tuned my GPS to the white house door steps…cause Baby, something has to be done!

Nothing grips my heart more than INJUSTICE!

Don’t tell me something just “can’t” be done.  Don’t tell me it’s impossible.  Because I AM A BELIEVER.  I believe in impossibilities. I believe in uncovering injustice, and “making paths straight!” I believe that with God all things are possible.

So, I’m on a new mission.  There must be an answer for the increasing amount of bullying among our youth in America.  Jesus is our ever present answer.

Tonight I stumbled onto A21 Campaign, an awesome movement to stop human trafficking – an injustice close to my heart.

Evil triumps…when GOOD MEN do NOTHING.

After Mr. Law Enforcer man left.   We took a break and I’m sipping my coffee when I realize that for the first time in a really long time, I have that feeling inside me again.  Like an excitement of a new passion being birthed.  I’m no longer 31, sitting in an exquisite river front ‘chalet’ in our professional business meeting, with a room full of very smart people.  I’m twelve years old, and I have to do everything in my power to grip to my coffee cup, and hold myself back from doing a cartwheel across that red European rug.

…because I’m a BELIEVER.

And that’s what believers do.

We do Cartwheels.

Each year, during my new year ‘golden’ goal time, I look back at all the highs and lows and then I set my eyes on the new horizons. After a few years of keeping up with this personal habit something happened.  I noticed a single word would begin to emerge.  Like a great “ah-ha” moment, or a middle of the day grand epiphany.  This single word has been a guiding them in my endeavors throughout the year.

One year, my word was simply Hope and others were Charity, Passion or Pursuit.  One especially difficult year my word was Rest.  One sweet season, my soul-purpose word was Worship.  Sometimes the words are for life, other times they are merely for a moment – a little help line for the passing season.

When these words hit my spirit, it’s like a hook in a fishes mouth.  I’m snagged, pulled in and captivated by its theme.

In 2008, the word was “Mouthpiece.”  Specifically “His Mouthpiece.” – learning to speak the Fathers heart.

in 2009, “Establishment” – was the order of the year.  There were many changes in our life, moving to a new city, a new church and establishing order in our marriage, our finances and with new jobs.

Last year, the clear word was “Voice” — All things voice.  I went on a soul search to discover the meaning of our voice, and found multiple avenues for our voice.  I learned my “Voice” is not all about my singing.  It’s a speaking voice, it’s a loving voice, a consoling voice, a praising voice, a writing voice.  I discovered there are literally a “thousand” ways that our heart has a voice!

In the same year of voice, I moved into “Ambassador” – as I launched an online prayer vigil for a sweet sister in my church.

Now, I have a NEW word for 2011. It’s an unusual word for sure!  It’s not a natural word for me to use.  It’s not something already found on my lips.  But it’s a word that has me hook, line and sinker!  For three days solid in December, everywhere I went, I saw this word in lights, on Christmas Ornaments, in newspapers, everywhere.  This year my word is QUEEN!

What a GRAND word!

Queen.

I immediately make this spiritual, and think of Queen Esther.  (my Nurse’s name last week was Esther!!) I think of the triumph that Queen Esther did for her people.  I’m reminded of the 6 month preparation process it took to get her ready for just one night!

Then I realized this is “the Year of the Queen.” My beloved childhood memory of watching Princess Diana’s wedding came flooding back, as I heard Prince William’s wedding date announced that he will marry the supposed future Queen of England, sometime in April.

And for me personally, there are obvious areas in my life that desperately need queenship.  This year I purpose to rule my laundry with an iron fist….to never deny my dishes a day without my reign, and to grace my grocery list with royal effort.  – Well, one could dream, anyway…

Ultimately in my heart, I know that I belong to The King — and this year is about me becoming more of His Queen than ever before.  Also, for my husband king on earth, to become the queen of his home, and honor and support him as the wonderful and wise husband king that he is to me.

Maybe you share the “word of the year” adventure too.  I’d love to know!  If not, I encourage you to seek the Lord and search your heart for your special word.   If not, feel free to SHARE this word with me this year: “Becoming Queen.”

Its beyond time for me to break the blog silence, and share all my NEW-ness.

We’ll have to go back to the beginning — way back to the New Year, which is my favorite time of year by the way.  I’m one of “those” who actually sits down and writes out goals and looks at my previous highs and lows and sets my eyes on a few new new horizons.

I LOVE having a destination to behold.

There is just something about a pending journey that thrills my soul.  So I keep the annual goal time going.

The Monday after our New years, I started a new job!! Can we say, “YEAH  yeaaaaaa!!!”  Yes, it is totally a God-ordained opportunity.  I accepted the position just before the holidays, to work part time with an organization called, Children’s Aid Society, in the Alabama Pre/Post Adoption Connection program.  It is just that:  All about Adoption in Alabama!  And I love it.  One lucky thing I ‘get’ to do is attend a summer camp for adoptive kids.  Hello!! I LOVE CAMP!!  After all, I did go to kids camp myself each summer from the time I was old enough to sign my application, and then in high school life guarded for 5 years for our Kids Camp in Birmingham.  And when I came home from college, I worked in the Administrative office in Montgomery and organized the registration, t-shirts, and marketing for all those 2000 kids at my favorite kids camp!  So when I found out my job included going to camp each summer, I was thrilled!!  Because I know what it means for the heart of the camper – a life changing summer experience!!

Side note: 10 years ago on my summer missions trip to Africa, I visited an orphanage for AIDS babies called “Jacksons Gap.”  The children’s camp for APAC where I’ll be going this summer is called, no other than “Jacksons Gap.”   No, I’m not kidding. –  Jesus, you make me sing sweet songs!

I have really been enjoying my new job answering calls, getting to meet new people, managing a library of resources for foster and adoptive parents and learning about the process of adoption.

My first week on the job, I felt great!  I was waking up each day jumping on my feet with enthusiasm, until around the second week…on a Tuesday morning, I started feeling achy, feverish, and coughing.  Two days later, I was very sick.  I spent the better part of the weekend sleeping and taking some OTC meds and vitamins, which wasn’t kicking it.   My energy level came back, but my symptoms were still there…sinus infection and bronchitis type infection, coughing a lot!  As of tonight, I’m going on my 5th week with this junk!!  Last week, i finally caved in and gave up my red super hero “i can do this” cape and went to the doctor (since my insurance doesn’t kick in until April).  Got a shot, a 14 day Antibiotic, and now, seven days later, I’m still fighting off symptoms.

The Doctor told me that I bursted a blood vessel in my throat, hence the giant swollen bulb at the bottom of my neck.  Last weekend, he ordered “3 days of vocal rest” – nothing over a whisper.  Ok. Give me a shot,  make me set my phone alarm to remind me to take a pill every four hours for the next fourteen days, Oh, and go ahead, sure, swab my throat out with that chopstick – but please — please — do not ask me to NOT talk!! That’s just inconceivable!  {insert the clip from “The Princess Bride”}

Well, the not-talking-for-three-days worked for about 3 hours. and probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  LOL. But maybe something I SHOULD be doing a little more of…

OH wait!! I have ONE more thing to say!

I have so many words in my heart that I want to share, maybe “a thousand” or two, as I’ve titled this blog.  So stay tuned!  You KNOW I will be saying them all soon!

And thank you for keeping me in your prayers to kick this cough to the curb once and for all!!

Ok, no more talking.

I’m serious this time.

Goodnight!!~~Sweet Dreams!

The Taylor Swift monologue song on SNL. so funny!

Facebook Doppelganger Party (yup, Drew Barrymore!)

News:  Haiti.  Twitter. Social Media. discovered Esther Havens.

fell in love with photography.

winter olympics

‘Lost’ series finally. epic ending.

Prayer Ambassador: a Facebook Prayer Group for 2 or 3, turned into 2k or 3k

fell into pit the ocean of grief, saying goodbye to my sweet cousin

Turned 31. got an iPhone

Adopted a kitten. Millie. Our first pet.

Summer visit with family and a trip to the lake

Labor Day Boston Butt Benefit (200 butts sold)

Blogging for Books @BookSneeze

News:  Trapped Chilean Miners

Interviewed for new job @ChildrensAidOrg.  Hired.

This Christmas, I had a good time celebrating the birth of our Lord together with our family.  I enjoyed receiving many Christmas Cards and Photo Cards, and especially a tender christmas letter, from my Aunt Gloria, detailing their year of sorrow, and yet feeling hope spill over from her every word.  They were often in my quiet thoughts and prayers this weekend.  Many moments, even during the happy ones, I felt my heart stinging with the loss of my cousin Karen here on earth.  But some how miraculously the Lord helped me experience over and over, his Heavenly Peace – even during my decorating and card writing and christmas making.  Usually every year, Christmas is just an added stress or tension in my life.  But this year was different.  I truly felt Heavenly Peace throughout the entire season.

We enjoyed time with the Hudsons Friday through Sunday.  Despite everyones crazy schedules, and several very sick babies, my time @ the Hudson’s was very nice.  Keith’s Mom made her traditional “Shrimp Gumbo” that was delicious!  She also made dozens of cakes and pies and goodies, that I ate too much of!  It is always great to be able to spend time together, and we are really glad we could all be there this year for the first time in a long time. I especially enjoyed watching the kids open their presents, hearing my niece Gabby scream when she opened our present, “Paint!! I LOVE PAINT.”

Keith’s older brother David read the Christmas story, but he went back to Isaiah, and the “foretelling” of the birth, and spoke about “God’s Promises.”  What a GREAT message! I will never forget that beautiful and powerful story that he shared. He is very anointed in the word.

Another favorite moment was going to see Narnia, 3D!!  That movie was awesome!! I’m still thinking about it today.

I’m so blessed to come together as a family and celebrate Jesus.  Keith’s cousin, Eugene, is just out of prison, recently divorced, and newly saved.  His kids helped me remember this year, that not every family has the hope of salvation like we do. His 9 year old daughter Candace told me, as I was braiding her hair that she did not know the Christmas story, about Jesus.  She said, “is that when he dies on the cross?”  So I told her about the birth of Jesus, for the first time.  And she lit up and said, “Oh, so that’s what those things are in the hallway!” Talking about Gloria’s manger scene.   That really touched my heart.  So we went and looked at the manger scene, which has a button that lights up the star and narrates the story of the birth.  She said, “Look at baby Jesus.  Awe, he looks so happy.”   — Again, a moment of Heavenly Peace flooded my heart.

We came home Sunday afternoon, unpacked and took a nap and then went up to moms to begin the Christmas celebration with my family.  Mom had the Halls Decked, for sure!  It was breath taking and refreshing to walk into her beautiful home.  We had our traditional Mexican Fiesta, then read the Christmas story – where Dad passed around his iPhone for all the guys to read a part, and then we all went around the room and shared what we were thankful for.  I’m thankful for my new job that starts next Monday – with an Alabama Adoption organization! I started rambling and crying like I always do about those less fortunate, and the unsaved. {cheesy grin}  While I was sharing, my cute little three year old nephew, Andrew comes up to me and gets right in my face and whispers very slowly, “Come On!” – So I busted out laughing and quit crying.  He was telling me to “come on and come play with him.”  But it sounded like he was telling me to come on, hurry up, we need to open presents already!!  LOL.  Keith shared his short and sweet version “I’m thankful for God, Family, Country. Next.”  ~ LOL.  I love how Keith makes me laugh so much.

We prayed together, remembering  my cousins husband J and the kids and the rest of the family whose hearts are hurting.  It is still so wonderful to have a family thanksgiving time and prayer time, and gift giving time, treasuring each moment more than I ever have.

We had two other big surprises which I will announce later in the week. Stay tuned!  Mom and Dad surprised us all with a Wii for Christmas!  We had a blast with Bowling and Golf.  We spent all day Monday with them as well, and went to see a movie!  The guys went to theirs, and the girls went to the Reese Witherspoon chick flick that was filmed in D.C., while mom kept the kiddos.  Needless to say today, we are now exhausted and 5AM came early for Keith going back to work today.

This week we are taking time to close out the end of the year, and look ahead at the next. Praying, Planning and Preparing for 2011!

Please pray with us for our new business, we are calling it Mosaic Cleaning Services, “the art of precision clean.” We have a mountain of to-do’s before we launch (bank, taxes, business marketing material).  And we are seeking divine appointments for cleaning contracts to happen quickly here in east Montgomery.

We are also starting the Dave Ramsey “Financial Peace University” course in January, with a local church in Montgomery.  So pray also that God will give us the strength and wisdom, and the needed stones that we need to conquer this debt giant once and for all.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

We played a game during our Sunday School party this past weekend, called Minute to Win It, a copy cat of the NBC game show.  One particular minute-game was called Christmas Anxiety.  There were 50 multi-colored M&M’s and five color coded cups.  The participants had to place one hand behind their back, and had 60 seconds to sort and order the M&M’s into their appropriate container, only using one hand, and sorting only one candy at a time!   It was madness for sure!  And of course, the ladies won and the guys lost! HAHA!

Yesterday, I went to the Mall in Montgomery and enjoyed Christmas shopping with my grandmother.

However, The MALL + Three Days Before Christmas = real life Christmas Anxiety!

My Grandma is a wonderful deal finder, she is actually the QUEEN of deals!   And at 85 years old, she does not waste any time “lolly gagging around.”  We go in the store, she locates the deal of the century, asks four different clerks if they will be running a sale soon, and decides if we should buy now or later.  She says, “You gotta use your “kidney’s” for these sorts of things” – as she points to her brain.   Her method is completely opposite of the way I’m used to shopping.  Me, I’m the lolly-gagger, coffee sipper, window shopper, muzak listener.  But with Grandma, you must become an on the go shopping queen, hunter of deals, and an ever diligent inspector of bargains.

The M&M game is a little silly, but the intensity of that 60 second rush Sunday morning, was likened to our two hour trip to the mall, three days before Christmas.

This year I really enjoyed decorating our home and putting up a tree.  We lit a few fires, listened to Bing Crosby and drank hot chocolate from our Christmas mugs.  I’m not “Scrooge-ing” out as much as I have in the past, but my visit to the MALL this week, certainly made me see why we have silly games named, “Christmas Anxiety.”

I have been very relaxed and have really enjoyed sitting back and letting myself feel Christmas for the first time this year.  We are still a few days away from Jesus’s Special Day, and I can honestly say I am “sleeping in heavenly peace” much more than ever before.  I just decided that this year would be different.  Even though I would not allow myself to put on the Christmas spirit too quickly (like three weeks before Thanksgiving) I did begin in December thinking about how I wanted to create the atmosphere in my home around this holiday.   Clean.  Beautiful.  Enjoyment.  Celebratory. “Heavenly Peace.”

There were many worrisome faces to be found at the mall that day. Many rushing around creating a busy-mess of the season.  I overheard many long cleansing breaths, and many frustrated exhales across the isle.  Ringing cell phones, and flashing sale signs everywhere grabbing our attention.  For many this is just another difficult Christmas, with a long people pleasing to-do list.  But for me, I had to remind myself that this is no longer my Christmas burden.  Later on in the day, after the Starbucks kicked in, and the fatigue from trying to keep up with Grandma wore off (did I mention she’s a go getter?), I realized how special it was to be able to actually go Christmas Shopping with her this year.  To walk around the mall with her, even though it was crowded, and the parking insane, it was still a wonderful moment where we made a memory.

Just like Mary and Joseph rushing to Bethlehem, nine months pregnant, traveling through the cold night, riding a donkey, just trying to get home on time, I imagine Mary’s thoughts weren’t all peaceful and cozy and happy up on that bumpy donkey.  She probably did not have a whole lot of holiday cheer to pass around to any passerbys.  She probably took a few cleansing breaths her self, and let out a few frustrated exhales too.  ”Will we ever get there, so I can get off this dang donkey?”  - “Is this baby ever going to be born?”  - “He better not arrive before we can find a place to sleep!”

They were just a young little couple starting out, and I’m sure she and  Joseph had a little bit of their own Christmas Anxiety:  The money is tight, nothing seems to be going as planned, and now we have a baby on the way.

Jesus wasn’t born in the most pristine setting either.  Our Savior of the World,  the King of Kings, slept his first night in a manger, in a stable with the animals!  He didn’t seemed too worried about it though.   I mean, haven’t you seen all the sculptings and pictures of baby Jesus “wrapped in his swaddling clothes, laying in his manger?”  He looked pretty happy to be there.

I imagine the Creator of the Universe and the Maker of the Stars took time just before the season too and thought to himself, “Hmm, what do I want the atmosphere of the reason for my season to be?  I think I shall place him in a manger!  In a Stable, in Bethlehem, with two young teenagers, who are not yet married!  And His Name shall be Called Jesus.  Emmanuel, Wonderful, Counselor, The Prince of Peace!”

So maybe our beloved Spirit of Rush during Christmas is truly a reflection of Christ and his birth, at it’s best!   So that when all is finally calm and our families are gathered in this Christmas, we see the star hanging on a tree, we bring our gifts before the Lord and share them with our loved ones, we can remember everything led up to THIS very moment.  Every mishap, every anxiety, every fear, every worry, every question, every financial strain, is our life reflecting its own personal story of the greatest story every told!

Merry Christmas!

A JennBlog Book Review:

I lift Up My Soul: Devotions to Start Your Day with God

by Charles Stanley

Thomas Nelson Publisher

The subtitle:  ”Devotions to Start Your Day with God,” sums it up precisely.  There are 365, one-page, daily devotionals, which are referenced from Pastor Charles F. Stanley’s previously published works (Into His Presence, On Holy Ground, Seeking His Face, and others.)  Each day is equipped with a Scripture Reading Guide, a Key Verse (which is printed for you on the page,) the devotional, and a closing prayer.   It truly is a “devotion to start your day with God.”

When I first opened the box containing this book, the beautiful cover, immediately welcomed me in to it’s theme, “Lifting up my soul.”  It is very serene. My initial intentions were to fly through a few pages, and submit my review by week end.  It’s been more than a month in my hands and now a staple on our coffee table.  The serenity has kept my husband and I both lingering in our daily “soul lifting.”

The book begins with January 1st, and follows with a poignant devotional message for each day of the year.  I’m not much for following the rules, so I often play book, or bible-roulette, picking and choosing which day of the year I will read.  This book has been a power house word for me even with my random method of reading.  I find it speaking the words of the Lord to me, much the same way as when I read my bible.  The titles alone have seemed to jump off the page and the messages have been timely for my day. Even on days when I would need “another” word, it was always there – confirming and affirming my soul.

“I Lift Up My Soul” - has done for me just what Stanley aspired for it to do in the life of its reader!  After loosing my beautiful 34 year old cousin this past summer in a climbing accident, I have found a timely lifting and healing of my soul from adding this devotional to my daily life.   My soul has been enriched, and my day now starts with God.

——————–

Disclosure: BookSneeze provided me with a complementary copy of this book, in return for my review.  The opinion expressed here is entirely my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Our cat, Millie, enjoys perching herself up on the fence and looking over. She has jumped over before, but Keith caught her immediately. She just loves it outside, and begs – with loud meowing and crying – during every minute of the waking day to go out. One afternoon recently I opened the back door and let her go out into our fenced in patio yard.  Every 15 minutes or so I would peek out to check on her, still sitting there perched in the breeze watching the leaves.

As I’m inside working around the house, I hear this giant gust of wind outside blowing the leaves all around the yard.  There was something in the rustling wind that caught my attention and beckoned me to go check on Millie.  This time, instead of spotting her bathing in the sun, she was no where to be found.  I looked all around our tiny concrete patio and in every corner, but she was gone.

She ran away!

I opened the gate, and walked around back to see if I could spot where she might have darted, hoping to find her just on the other side of the fence, cowered down waiting on me to rescue her.  She wasn’t there.

Then, the terrifying feeling rose up in me like a flame. All the negative thoughts began befriending me into their circle of doom:

“Oh no, is this the beginning of the story of our loosing her?  What will I tell Keith, my mom, all my friends who know how much we love having her in our life?  Oh. This is going to make me so sad.  Will this be one more thing to make me depressed ?”

As I walked around the block, calling her name, rattling her favorite toy {the one with the frayed feathers and a little jingle bell} – I made a decision. And I answered back to my new found ‘too cool for school’ friends:

“Hey. My answer is NO!

You heard me, No!  My answer is NO.

No, I will not worry about our Millie.

And No, she will not be gone. But listen if she is, NO, it will not make me depressed or grievous.”

{waiving my girlfriend finger snap}

Hey, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, right?

My heart glimpsed a picture of her being gone for a few days, out there in the woods…or even a few weeks…or maybe even forever.  Then I prayed,

“Okay, You know what God? Guess what? I’m going to trust my kitten to your care today. No matter what.”

Immediately as sure as I felt the wind upon my face, a calm went through my entire being.   No fear.  No worries.  Simply an attitude of – “Oh well.  I’m Ok. She’s OK.  Its gonna be OK. God is BIG.  Big enough to know right where she is and big enough to take care of our little 6 month old kitten, Millie baby.”

I texted Keith.  Still.  No worries. Even if he is upset with me.  {shrug} Oh well.

He texted me back, with a God-like calm:  “She’ll be back.”

Even when the damaging whispers tried to question me with their second wave of sharp guilt-arrows, “Someday when you have children, will you be this irresponsible?” – I waived those thoughts off as well just as quickly as the wind, and waived them my second girlfriend finger snap.

“Its going to be OK.” I felt the Lord assuring my soul, as we walked around the block together, God and I.

Back in my front yard, I paused to waive at my neighbor walking her dog.  Standing there, shaking that little jingle bell toy, I spot a little white face peering out at me through the bushes, running to attack her favorite toy!

It felt like a miracle finding her!

~~~Today, the Lord led me though the WIND.  I believe He also led my cat over our fence chasing a falling leaf maybe to teach me just How much he can lead me, if I will only listen to His gentle guidance.

Thank you Jesus, that you care for me.  And that you even care for my little cat Mille. Thank you that I can cast all my cares upon you and that you care for them and TAKE care of them even better than I would.  I love you so much for that!

Saturday evening, we had just rolled ourselves back into town from a FULL filled weekend with Keith’s family enjoying the Turkey, Dressing and a few rounds of “Not yo’ mama’s Banana Pudding” – which I made for the family, special thanks to Paula Dean’s kitchen. We quickly found ourselves relaxing in our cozy stretchy-pants and unwinding with a little late night TV.  Keith was zoning on more Football and I was in our cozy king bed, catching up with Millie (our cat) and listening to the adorable Taylor Swift present her “Speak Now” album on an NBC concert special.

Stretchy-pants + Taylor Swift = my favorite unwind kind of night~

I just love Taylor’s passion and her beautiful, free spirit! Still haven’t bought the album just yet. I’m not much of an “album” purchaser, but I might have to get this one!  I usually buy music like I buy TCBY.  ”A little bit of each please” I like to go to iTunes and purchase 2 or 3 songs from here and there….but rarely an entire collection.

It sounds like Taylor has packaged this one up very well. It feels like a real collection. Which is where most artist have failed me in the past. They might have a great sound but they throw 10 or 12 songs on a record that don’t really flow, or go together. I used to rush out to purchase my favorite artists albums, only to come home highly disappointed because I only like one or two of the songs. “And I paid $15 for this?”

Listening to her unique sound, I realize I can’t really tell what this “genre” is. I do love her sound – but what is it? Is it country or is it pop or is it country/pop/alternative?

That seems to be the same with most music today.  I love  Adele, along with Coldplay, and Sugarland – all, musically unique in their own way.  Even Christian music is brushed with such a broad stroke it’s very difficult to tell what style or type of music it is. So many blended, unique, and beautiful new fusion styles.

Recently, Keith met a friend at a coffee shop, and was introduced to guy who used to be a Christian, but now considers himself “spiritual” and not religious.  And he has opened his thinking to multiple religions and uses the scriptures with a unique “twist” to justify his “new” enlightenment. His philosophy is sort of a blurry blend of this and that.

Last month, we ventured around the block to cast our vote.  “Straight right, straight left, or a little in between?” We are a country who now has to define our party vote based on our personally unique convictions.  It seems there are no more “straight” reps or dems. We are all a unique blend of our own views.

A friend recently asked if we could tell him where the line was for a particular sin that would keep him out of heaven. I really had to ponder that one for a moment. I mean, where IS the line that says “this side heaven,” or “this side hell?” I might like to that one know myself! About an hour later, over a good cup of white chocolate mocha I finally resolved this question in my heart and told our friend that I honestly did not know how to tell where the big “backsliders line” was located.

This is what I do know:  The ONLY line that I can truly draw in the sand, and can truly even attempt to uphold on my own is the one that pulls me deeper into a relationship with Christ. I really can’t concern myself with any other line than that.  What is right, what is wrong, what is sin, what is not?

There are 10 clear cut lines mentioned in the Old Testament, and the top two are clearly spelled out in the New Testament.  Love God.  Love People. If I am constantly looking to get as close to the line of sin as possible “without tripping,” I will surely stumble, and cross over. In fact, I dare say that if I am even looking for the line, I have already stumbled in my heart.  ”Run the race.”  Run to Jesus.

Much like our music genre’s and our new political party lines that have been evaporated, we are globally loosing our foundational sense of purity in areas that used to be so diverse.  In some ways, the change is welcomed and beautiful but in others the change is frightening!

I just think we should guard our hearts that we are not swayed in this change movement.  How beautiful it is on this side, in the garden of firm foundations and age old standards. Love God.  Love People.

It’s time for this nitty gritty post to go live. I’ve been drafting old “nitty” and hiding all the “gritty” even from myself. But today is a new day and I’m letting it out. So, hide yo’ wife, hide yo’ kids, here goes, ya’ll…

Confession: The recent months have seemed like a blur. It felt like the roller coaster ended, but my head was still spinning.

I was having one of those weeks where every stitch of clothing in our home that “should” be washed, was not washed. Every single mug, cup, saucer or storage container was pilled high in the sink – all dirty. We had resorted to drinking coffee out of measuring cups.

Unfortunately we were giving into the nasty habit of piling the clean, clothes-to-be-folded stack all on top of the guest bed, in hopes that the laundry fairy will take care of them overnight…only to find the pile much bigger the following day. So poor GuestBed was caving under about 60 pounds of laundry.

My Orlando sister-friend – the one who helped me christen my love for all things Audrey Hepburn – let me unload all my luggage of the “Mean Reds” on her. she listened. again.

It’s not like the blues. And it’s not like the yucks. And it’s not even like my case of “I’m sick for pickled pigs feet” either. – this is beyond all that. Just beyond.

You know there are days you just feel – frumpy. or gross. or just blaghk. But you can get in the car, or sit in front of the mirror and do your make up for an extra 10 minutes while listening to The Morning Show in the background, read a devotional, say a prayer and it all seems to start balancing out. You just move on. Well the past few weeks….or maybe, months, that “moving on” button was not resetting. I think it got some syrup on it, from eating too many pancakes in bed one day – and I just could not muster the energy to fix that “I’m ok today” reset button.

Honestly, I haven’t been ok. And my husband, poor sweet baby honey tender soul, (bless his heart), has dealt the brunt of it — along with my heavenly husband, Jesus. (bless his heart too.) They have loved me. unconditionally. Although somedays I’ve questioned even that much. I’ve pleaded with one and prayed to the other, “please just love me.” Knowing, they surely do, but feeling, truly “how could they?” I mean LOOK at me! I’m a mess. I’m beyond a mess. I’m a wreck.

I’ve gone for months with no prayers, just tears, since saying goodbye to the beautiful life. And then there were no more tears to cry, only questions, anger, new realms of resentment and bitterness.

And I got to that point when I thought it must be the lowest possible point ever, hanging on by a thread. Another week goes by, I realize “now this is the lowest.” – and then the next day hits hard. nope. here it is. I found myself no longer comparing days of glory, but instead the depth upon new depth of my sorrow.

But the moment the rope slipped out of my hand, the very moment I lost my grip, letting go of every shred of hope left inside me, I get a text message. A friend was thinking about me. She asked us to dinner that night. The following day, more emails, facebook love and letters from friends who were just thinking about me. The next day, a whirlwind of love from another friend. And a few nights later another sushi dinner date with friends.

But that friday Afternoon in the midst of all of these beautiful hands extended, as if God were saying “this is how I love you,” I received a very timely phone call from one special Audrey-loving friend. It was our second long-distant-friend call that week. A few days earlier, she shared of her own “red moments” and I listened, we committed to “link arms” and prayed, like I know to do. But I hung up questioning how God could hear a prayer from this heart that was in so much disarray. But He did.

He used that sweet friend to bless me back two days later when she called me and listened. I broke down and balled like a baby while confessing how disordered and discontent my life was. YES! ME! The one who is supposed to always have it together. The Church Girl. The Sunday School Teacher.

Instead of simply patting me on the back like a good Christian friend, she did more. She took action. Immediately. She overnighted me a book. Express Mail. Saturday morning special delivery. And it was not just any book. It was the EXACT book for my moment — and for her’s too. She counseled me with the grace and wisdom of a little old church grandma.

The following day was filled again with FRIENDS and football!

Thank God for friends.

Thank you Lord for beginning a great new work in me and for purging another layer back from the onion of my soul.

I am happy to report, the guest bed is cleared of its six…teen loads of laundry.

And sweet tender soul honey bunny has been happy to see me smiling at 8AM while making homemade pancakes for him.

…and I finally let Jesus help me clean that sticky syrup off my reset button, and is helping me move forward.

If you have found yourself living out the nitty-gritty or the mean reds, I know our God can help rescue you too!